Learning From A Psychologist

Reviewing my old posts, found that it's kind of aggressive and emotionally unstable. Hmm...those were the stories past few days with the negative thoughts in my mind. Now,I feel much better dy. Thanks for the concerns ya! I appreciated that. ^^

Realized lots of things these few days. We couldn't have found someone that can understand us 100% coz everyone is unique in this world. So, that's why communication play an important role in our life. We couldn't control how others act but we can control what we think and feel.

A psychologist told me, our emotions wouldn't be affected by others if we do not allow others to affect us. She asked me to think about it. Well, what you understand by this phrase? From what I've learnt in a talk, we can actually control our own emotion and feeling. We all had our own key of happiness. We used to let others keep it for us unconsciously. Thus,others can affect our feelings. For instance, a wife is unhappy because her husband went to outstation for work purposes. The wife felt unhappy coz she let her husband to keep her key of happiness. If she holds her own key, she'll be happy on what she's doing, and not being affected much no matter what others do. I should have learnt to keep my own key and not letting others to keep it for me. ^^

Also, she taught me to be assertive. What's assertive? Previously, I got a misconception on it, thinking that it's simply rejection on others,say 'No' strongly. Due to my misconception,I acted wrongly causing my aggressive acts. Sorry for those being hurt by these. Now, I know what assertive is... From Dorland's medical dictionary, Assertiveness means a form of behavior characterized by a confident declaration or affirmation of a statement without need of proof; this affirms the person's rights or point of view without either aggressively threatening the rights of another (assuming a position of dominance) or submissively permitting another to ignore or deny one's rights or point of view. We have our own rights. I have my right to express my feelings, you have your right whether to read or not to read these. ^^

Well, to be assertive, I need to be a decisive and confident person. It's time consuming to learn it, but without trying, I would never get to learnt it. So, I am ready to fall again in order to learn to make a good decision with confidence. I do need help in this. As Dr mentioned last time, actually normal people can go for psychotherapy if they want to know better and improve themselves. I would give it a try even it sounds like I'm wasting both therapist's and my time. No matter what, I wouldn't mind how people look at me for getting psychotherapy, coz I have my right doing things I want. Stigmatize on people receiving therapy? So what? They'll be a better person after therapy, could even be better than those who got a stigma on it. I believe it can make me better rather than doing nothing. Hope I can get to be a better person in cognitive behavioral therapy coming soon! All the best! ^^